How to Say ‘Good Job Champ’ and Bench Him When You're Finally Ready to Make Yourself Cum

No one likes to fail – not professional athletes, and certainly not your overconfident boyfriend. So when you’re ten minutes into the blandest oral stimulation of your life, it might be time to pat him on the shoulder and take the reins yourself so you can finally get off yourself. Here’s how to say “good job champ” and put him back on the bench. Let him take a big swing. Before you take your guy out of the game, it’s important to give him a chance to give it his all. Let him really go to town with whatever methods he’s deemed foolproof; then, once he’s failed on his own terms, you won’t have to hear his pleas to “Put me in, coach!” He’ll just sit there silently, as you take the ball to the hoop and score. Say, “Good work out there,” and really mean it. Even though he failed, it’s important to applaud his effort and heart. He tried his best and it just wasn’t enough for the conditions out on the field today. There’s no need to kick him while he’s down. Just pat him on the butt and tell him it’s time to take a breather so you can come in fresh and finish the job. Try to keep him invested in the game, even though he’s on the bench. You two are a team, and teamwork means sometimes you gotta pass the ball. As you pull out ahead of the pack, making yourself come with incredible strength and efficiency, try to keep him invested by looking into his eyes and saying “We’re in this together. We’re a team. We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. Uhhgghh fuuuuck! Okay, all set.” It’s important to let him feel like he’s a part of this big moment, even if you do score the winning goal. In the end, you can always let him know that you’ll see him again at practice. This isn’t the end of the road! Tomorrow is another day. Let your guy know he’s still on the team and you expect to see him out on the field, sweating hard, ready to train for the next one!

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