This New Skincare Line Just Punches You in the Stomach and Steals Your Wallet

From makeup, to hair stuff, to bath products, companies are popping up all over the place to sell women what they need to feel good and care for themselves. And these companies are coming up with novel and creative ways to do so! Check out our favorite new skincare line, inYOface, who helps you achieve a glowing complexion by just punching you in the stomach and stealing your wallet! “At inYOface, we believe that the key to perfect skin starts with each of us, no product is a miracle,” said CEO Karla Reynolds. “That’s why we make sure all of our customers look inward to find their own facial miracles: by decking them in the gut and punishing them further by relieving them of their wallets.” “Our initial findings have shown that this is actually incredibly effective,” Ms. Reynolds added. “Everyone was like, yeah, my money is definitely gone now.” Ms. Reynolds went on to explain inYOface’s patented method. “A whole skincare routine can be tedious, and ultimately, unnecessary,” she said. “When it comes down to it, good skin just takes dedication, lots of water, and the shame that comes with knowing that one of our millennial-pink-clad employees just absolutely fucking rocked you with a fist to the liver, in addition to robbing you blind.” “But don’t worry! All of our employees receive the same skincare treatments before we hire them. They all know exactly what it takes to be an inYOface certified Clear Skin Ambassador,” she added. At the time of publication, our beauty author had not tried inYOface’s skincare routine, citing the fact that she has a weak stomach and doesn’t have any backup credit cards.

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