Wow! This Woman Manages Her Anxiety By Fueling It

In an amazing feat during unprecedented, uncertain times, Sheryl McKall of Worchester, MA has found a way to manage her undiagnosed anxiety disorder: By fueling it relentlessly, day in, day out. Wow! Why didn’t we think of that?! Sheryl stokes the fears of her spiraling anxiety by consuming as much negative information as possible, drinking copious amounts of coffee, chain-smoking strong sativa blends, and disseminating anxiety-inducing information everywhere she goes. “I told my neighbor I don’t think we’re safe,” said Sheryl in the vague beginnings of a conversation that everyone around her refused to engage in. “I’ve been on Twitter for 20 hours now. People need to know.” Sheryl is also known to change existing conversations towards more stressful topics. “I was talking to her about the new trees they planted outside my building,” says Sheryl’s coworker, Bridgette O’Neill. “And she someone ended up linking it to sex trafficking. Then she had a panic attack right in front of me.” Sheryl keeps her anxieties sharp by digging into any subject that has the potential to make her heart race. Her recent Google searches have included, “worst ways to die,” “unlikely cancer symptoms,” and “scariest stories of the dark web.” “You have to do your due diligence,” says Sheryl, seemingly referring to the world at large. “You can’t be too careful these days.”

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