There he is. You spotted him the moment he walked into the cafe. He was perfect—you had to have him. But how do you get him to notice you for your charm and personality? Hahaha, what’re you, nuts? It’s gonna take a whole lot more than that—specifically some loud-ass trumpet playing. Here’s how to catch his eye and ears quickly: The Initial Contact First thing’s first: Act confident! Shoot him a playful smile from where you’re sitting and wait for him to smile back. When he does, that's your cue! Open-mouth smile at him as if you have never seen anything before, then, when his smile slowly fades into confusion, whip out your trumpet and merrily strut the hell on over to him, playing it aggressively. Nice! Step Two: Prancing At this point, he’ll probably nervously get up and start walking away. Do not be discouraged—this is what you want! Now, begin your prance. Skip to your left, then skip to your right, tooting that horn fiendishly as you dance-jog after him. Wait up, hot stuff! Step Three: Play Hard To Get At this point, he will look back and see you prancing at him and probably shout something along the lines of, “what the fuck is happening???” Excellent! When he starts to look really scared, cease prancing towards him with your trumpet and perform a small jig, playing a light hearted tune and NOT looking in his direction (nothing sets a guy’s loins on fire like having to work for it, especially if you have a trumpet!). Step Four: The Warning Blast To throw him off one final time, abruptly stop your solo jig and song, look his way and then blast the loudest, least melodic sound you can create with your trumpet. This is your battle cry. Your eyes will now glow red, and he will mouth, “Holy fuck.” That’s how you’ll know the time has come for… Step Five: The Chase Guys love a good chase. This is the perfect time to begin playing the trumpet at him without blinking, while giving him a running head start. A good go-to tune for this is the Jaws theme. After a few seconds, start at a slow jog and then begin RUNNING after him, still tooting away on your brass horn. He’ll tire out eventually, and by then you’ll have fully gotten his attention. He’ll probably say something like “what the fuck is your deal?” Great! This is your “in” to introduce yourself. You’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to get boys’ attention once you have a trumpet. So get out there and toot it girl!
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