Since the dawn of time humans have been partnering up, but quarantine is changing how people meet and date. But what if you were on the brink of coupledom before this all started? Whether you started dating right before or during quarantine or you’re either sheltered together or text from under different roofs, the timing of dating milestones feels altered. Either you can take things slower than normal or you can accelerate them beyond emotional control. Here is how to definitively assess which of the only two available dating rates you should follow: Have you Defined The Relationship yet? We’re keeping it casual for now. I do not care about labels, chemistry, trust, or any of that bullshit. I’m pining for any form of intimacy, and this person, who is my only option, is giving it to me. Can you trust them? We’ve maybe shared some stories or vulnerable stuff to each other, so getting there. Again, trust does not matter to me right now. I need to feel held or cared about, and I do not care by whom. What is your chemistry like? Hard to say because it’s all still so new, so time will tell! I wouldn’t necessarily call it “love” (yet! lol) but I’m definitely into the idea of passionately fucking a lot, raising kids, and spending the rest of eternity together in a blissful, harmonious marriage. Are you actually into them or are you dating them just to be with someone? They’re funny and interesting! But I’m trying not to think about the future too much. I don’t know their middle name, hometown, or any of that useless shit. My lover provides me a security blanket of love, compassion, and support. I would die for them. Do you foresee a future for yourselves within this entirely uncertain future for everyone? Maybe! Because of distancing, we are still in the early dating stages and who knows what will be the new normal. The future I foresee of us together is the only certain future. Who the fuck are you to question what we have? Results: If You Answered Mostly 1’s: It sounds like your new relationship is blossoming healthily, but you’re maintaining it in a rather risk-averse way. Since you said it yourself that you don’t know what the future holds for you, we say go all out and move faster. If You Answered Mostly 2’s: You and bae are seriously moving along! In fact, we sense there might be some anxious attachment issues involved? We get that having a partner during this can help but take a step back and determine if pausing things could stabilize your relationship. Unless, of course, you and bae are into this breakneck speed towards #togetherforever. In which case, go for it! Anything goes!
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