We all know that I am sleepy. Whether this is due to a lack of sleep the night before, a bodily response to existing in American society, or cause unknown, no one can say. Whatever the reason, everyone has wondered from time to time: what if I just lie down and close my eyes for a moment? What then? Take this quiz to find out! I am feeling a little tired. a. Now might be a good time for a bit of resting. b. You think you’re special? Hit the bricks sleep-o. I do a yawn so big I cry a little. Thoughts? a. That’s a very big yawn! b. This big yawn really pisses me off. What would you say if you caught me dozing in a ray of sunshine? a. I would simply put my hand over my heart and sigh. b. “Wakey wakey, bitch! It is time for being awake.” Close my eyes? a. Shh-sh-sh-shush. b. Don’t you fucking dare. What happens if I am sleeping? a. I put a warm blanket over your body and a spindly nightcap on your head. b. “STOP SLEEPING SO MUCH,” you shout with your hands in loathsome little fists. I fall asleep in the back of the car? a. I circle the block until you are in REM sleep. b. The side of the road becomes your bed. Results: Mostly A’s: I would be supported and protected if I lay down and closed my eyes for a moment. This could be a great option for me in the future, or even right now. Goodnight. Mostly B’s: It would be a big disaster for me to lie down and close my eyes for a moment due to reasons of “hostility.” This sucks.
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