Quarantine has dramatically changed the way we live our lives – even the food we eat, the stuff we buy, and the clothes we wear. Many women have foregone wearing bras in favor of more bralettes, sports bras, or bandeaus. As for me, I decided to stop wearing bras altogether and instead have chosen the more reasonable, familiar alternative: them Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans) and Boots With the Fur (With the Fur). There are no more clubs in which I can be seen, so this is a choice I’m making for me (me) and nobody else (nobody else). While the demand comfy clothes like baggy sweatpants and them Reeboks with the straps have skyrocketed as more people spend time at home, I prefer to wake up in the morning and put on an outfit that makes me feel like a real human being with a sense of purpose – someone who is down to hit the floor and get low, low, low, low, etc. You get it. Putting on real clothes just helps me feel good about the way I look and helps get out of bed in the morning (in the morning). My bras may be in early retirement, but these birthday cakes, they’ll steal the show (in a socially distanced way, of course). Making this change has done wonders for my self-esteem, even in isolation. My feet are very warm (again, the fur), I feel good about my body (I give that big booty a slap quite often), and I’m in an outfit that was the envy of all women circa 2008. With everything going on in the world, how can life really get any better than this (than this)? And now more than ever, I’ve got the whole club looking at me (I’m in speaker mode on Zoom and am slapping my ass firmly against the ground). I didn’t need a sexy underwire bra to do that. So I hope to see you all hit the floor in them jeans and boots soon – for you, and nobody else.
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