Did You Know Your Nipple Is The Same Size As Your Butthole? I Know Because I’ve Tried

The human body is proportioned with a mathematical symmetry that allows you to do amazing things like run, dance and hold all of your organs. For example, your forearm is the same size as your foot, the length of your head is the width of your waist and your “wingspan” is roughly the same as your height! But did you know that your nipple is the exact same size as your butthole? It is, and I know because I tried. While not common knowledge, it is proven that the human nipple can fit perfectly inside of your own butthole; this is something that I know because it’s something that I physically did. I physically put my nipple in my own butthole and so I can verify that, yes, they are the same size. The body really is amazing! I first started to wonder if my nipple would fit perfectly in my butthole after I read that fact about your forearm being the same size as your foot. I thought, “Hmm perhaps the same is true of my nipple and butthole.” I tried it and—what you know—it was true. Science for the win! A lot of people (me) are wondering what kind of evolutionary benefits this might have offered to early humans, and some (me) posit that, maybe this was part of foreplay? A really good back stretch? Just a kind of fucked up thing to do when you’re bored and alone in your bathtub? Scientists (still me) are unsure of the answer, but one thing I do know is that it IS possible because I HAVE tried this. Now that I’ve put my nipple in my butthole I guess you can say I really have “seen it all.” Would my nipple fit into anyone else’s butthole? I don’t know. The current theory is that, like a snowflake, each nipple is uniquely fitted to one’s own butthole. But I can’t prove it because no one will let me try!

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