Uh Oh! All the Scientists Assumed Someone Else Was Working on Vaccine

In an unexpected realization by the scientific community, it has come to light that all the scientists assumed someone else was working on the vaccine for the novel coronavirus. Whoops! Shoulda checked up on that one! “God, if this isn’t embarrassing,” says Stockholm-based virologist Dr. Ebba Karlsson. “I guess I just thought, you know, things in Sweden aren’t great, but they’re not as bad in the States, so maybe, and American virologist is working on it? Someone had to be doing something over there, right?“ “I’m not placing blame,” Dr. Karlsson continues. “That’s just what would make the most sense to me. It’s a global problem, of course, but then also, you know, some parts more than others.” But American scientists seem to have been similarly confused about their role in developing the vital vaccine. “Oh brother,’ says a member of the University of Pittsburgh team, Dr. Howard Chen. “See, I just thought one of the more focused countries would get to it first, you know? The ones that just have it a bit more together on this sort of thing? I figured, okay, South Korea is going to turn around and be like, ‘We got it!’ or it will be a surprise like suddenly Australia figured it out.” “I’m obviously happy to start now,” adds Dr. Chen. “But also, I’m probably already so far behind that it’s like, should I even bother? Or, I don’t know.” Unfortunately, the stalemate continues as virologists across the globe all thought someone else was doing it, and are now hesitant to begin just in case someone else already started. “Someone should definitely do it,” says Dr. Karlsson. “And I think we’re all ready to support whoever that ends up being, or even do it ourselves if that’s what we all decided, but just, let’s be clear about it.” At press time, confusion still reigned, but a couple of virologists agreed someone should let South Korea know they’re on it.


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