Lindsay Jacobs of Brooklyn, NY was sick and tired of going to pretentious yoga studios to constantly be judged because she couldn’t complete a perfect headstand. So she decided to create her own studio with a fun twist: You can eat an entire sheet cake and just kind of jack off the whole time! “Yoga is supposed to be empowering, and I just didn’t feel that way at my local studio,” explains Lindsay. “I wanted to create a safe environment where women can do whatever they want and feel good about themselves.” “And sometimes you just want to lick chocolate frosting off your fingers while low-key cumming during child’s pose, and no one should feel shamed for that!” Lindsay adds. “That’s why I started my studio, ‘Cum Salutations’. I came up with the name because it’s like doing a sun salutation, but then you get to cum.” Now that’s our kind of Savasana! Lindsay serves four different types of cake each class, plays sexy tunes like Frank Ocean and Mel Torme, and recommends every lady bring her best friend (vibrator) in order to achieve the full body-positive experience. “I always hated doing difficult poses that made me sore, and the rooms were always way too hot,” says local yogi, Brittany Hammond. “But with this studio, I feel so great when l finish!” “In other studios, it felt so phony to see all these women moaning so loudly while they were just sitting cross-legged on the ground,” said Tania Mansfield. “At least when there is a vibrator and cake present, you have a real reason to moan.” But sadly, not everyone shares in Jacobs’ dream. “This just isn’t yoga at all,” says local yoga instructor Raja Anand. “I’m pretty used to seeing the appropriation of yoga in this country, but this is a new level. If you want to eat cake and cum, just do that. That’s fine. But how is it yoga?” Wow. It’s very unfortunate some women can’t seem to support other women and their dreams. “I just hope one day we can live in a world where some women can feel good doing tree pose while other women can feel good laying down with a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake and a Malibu deluxe vibrator,” said Lindsay. Sounds like a yoga class we definitely want to cum to!!
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