Entire Office Now Privy To Woman’s Long Shelf Of Tiny Two-Inch Dildos

During a Zoom call on Monday, the entire office of Elliot Staffing Agency in Trenton, NJ, became privy to the tiny dildo collection of Alicia Wood. “When Alicia logged on I thought, oh, how sweet, we’re getting a look at her pottery collection or something like that,” says coworker Bess Pratt. “But the longer I looked, the more it became clear that they were small dildos all lined up next to each other. It looked like it was on purpose or something.” “Dildos on a conference call aside, there was something really unsettling about the size of them,” says another coworker, Drew Morris. “Why so many of the same small size? Why put them right there in front of us, but just off to the side as though it’s an accident.” “Frankly, I have questions.” Everyone who logged onto the call seemed to shift uncomfortably after squinting at Wood’s background. “I kept waiting for someone to call it out,” says Pratt. “But that moment never came.” The employees were left to watch and wonder. “I feel like we didn’t get a lot done on that call,” says Morris. “I couldn’t concentrate.” Wood seemed oddly blasé about discovering the dildos had appeared on the call. “Oh my two-incher shelf?” she asked. “Maybe next time I should change positions so they can see the shelves for all the other sizes. I guess I look like a real weirdo with just this one.”

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