Study Finds it is 4PM Most of the Time

A recent study out of Yale finds that it is 4 p.m. almost all of the time now. Almost every time you look over at the clock, it will be on or about 4 in the afternoon. “It’s wild,” says lead researcher, Mark Finn. “Almost every participant found that they woke up, stared into space for a minute, and then when they looked back at the clock it was already 4 p.m.” Alicia Olsen, a subject of the study agrees. “I roll out of bed, it’s 4 p.m. Then I get ready for bed.” Olsen went on: “The other day I almost asked my husband what time it was but then I thought ‘who am I kidding, it’s definitely 4. And it was, of course.” Finn says that while there have been occasional deviations in the data, with people reporting it to be 5 p.m., or 3:30, the median remains overwhelmingly clear. “It’s always 4 p.m. somewhere,” he laughs. “Except now, somewhere is everywhere. We really can’t explain it.”

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